50 Things I Cannot Do To....... RUSSIA

1. I mustn't ask to become one with him
2. Despite the fact that I really want to become one with him...
3. But Belarus would literally kill me
4. I mustn't marry Russia with Belarus
5. I mustn't nick Russia's vodka
6. I mustn't teach Russia about parachutes
7. Because he believes in the uplifting power of vodka
8. And the fact that snow will break his fall
9. So he will jump out of an plane with no parachute
10. I must not force Russia to take off his scarf
11. I must not try on Russia's panda suit
12. I must not tell him the Baltics are terrified of him
13. I must not tell him everyones scared of him
14. I must not let Belarus into his house
15. Even if the outcome would be entertaining
16. For me and Belarus at least
17. I must not defile sunflowers in front of Russia
18. He would  kill me
19. I must not whisper "kolkolkol" whenever Russia walks into a room
20. He would kill me.
21. I mustn't ask Russia if I can borrow his faucet pipe
22. I mustn't talk about Russia's sisters near him
23. He will get depressed
24. And maybe kill me
25. I mustn't keep getting Russia to sit on Busby's chair
26. Even if I like the way it keeps exploding whenever he sits on it
27. I mustn't seek out General Winter
28. I mustn't tell Russia that his nose is long
29. I mustn't ask Russia about his bloody past
30. He cracked because of his bloody history
31. That's why hes so psychopathic
32. He may be psychopathic, but that doesn't stop him from being adorable
33. I mustn't let him into China's house
34. Even though he and China are so cute
35. I mustn't let him into China's house dressed up as a panda
36. I mustn't ask him why he is quiet at world summit meetings
37. Because it is probably because he is fantasizing about everybody begging for their lives
38. He plans to take over the world some day
39. But everybody will be friends and one with Mother Russia, so that's OK.
40. I mustn't point out that Russia was sometimes called "The Motherland" and that Germany was sometimes called "The Fatherland"
41. Am I the only one who noticed that?
42. I mustn't ask Russia why Poland isn't scared of him
43. I really don't want to know...
44. Kolkol...
45. That wasn't breaking Rule 19#
46. Because Russia isn't currently in the room
47. And I didn't whisper it
48. I mustn't ask Russia why he occasionally carries around a pick-axe
49. Become one with Mother Russia da?
50. Da!